My side of doctoring

Sir William Osler once wrote,

"Human kind might be divided into three groups - men, women and women physicians."

I'm not entirely sure in what context this was written, but it is the opening page in a book called "This Side of Doctoring: Reflections From Women in Medicine." I think it's really funny and insightful. Since Osler is one of the greatest Canadian physicians of all time, his observation must have merit.

With finals about 2.5 weeks away, I still find myself procrastinating a little bit and still trying to decide what to do with my life and what it is exactly that floats my boat. Hence I went to the library and I picked up the novel I just mentioned and decided to give in to my desire to read "The Scalpel and Silver Bear", written by the surgeon Lori Arviso Alvord who I had the pleasure to meet about a month ago. I'm a pretty fast reader so it took me two days. I loved it, but I'm still not sure what I should do with my life. I learned a lot about the Navajo culture though, and it is fascinating - ever since I was taught about native peoples in grade 3, I've always admired their spirituality and deep appreciation for nature.

Today I had my final OSCE (objective structured clinical examination) so studying for that also helped me to procrastinate from the real studying I have to do for my last three finals. I don't know how I really feel about OSCEs - for those who don't know, these exams attempt to recreate real clinical situations with six-minute stations, where the examinee has to complete certain tasks like "perform a focused history for back pain" or "perform a focused physical exam for knee pain". Some argue that OSCEs are not indicative of real clinical situations at all because examinees are just trying to get as many checkmarks as they can on the scoresheet. All I know is that so far, I sometimes find clinical encounters excruciatingly painful because I often feel like I'm intruding on the lives of very sick people or I just feel plain incompetent. Suffice it to say, I wasn't looking forward to the OSCE but it went as well as it could. I don't know if it's a common thing for medical students to feel stupid, incompetent or constantly question their career choice... but I've been doing that lately and I hope some day soon I become more sure of myself and my skills.

At any rate, I just want to reassure those who are concerned that I truly do love the fact that I learn something new everyday. It's also really rewarding to recognize an illness or complete from memory a whole mini-mental status examination on your sister (it's official, she's cognitively impaired) but sometimes the constant self-doubt and barrage of medical information to be learned is truly exhausting.

On another note, I've been organizing World AIDS Day events which falls on Dec 1st this year. The aim of the day is to increase awareness and garner more support for international HIV/AIDS initiatives. I'm very excited for all the amazing events that a lot of people have helped to make happen, such as a talk from Marney McDiarmid, who is an education coordinator at HIV/AIDS Regional Services Kingston. She will speak about her experiences on HIV education in semi-rural Ghana. Also, there will be an exclusive screening of "A Closer Walk" in the evening, which is a documentary about the worldwide AIDS epidemic featuring interviews from the Dalai Lama, Bono and many more. It is also narrated by Will Smith and Glenn Close! I am very much looking forward to Thursday, as I will also be having dinner with my mentor group, which consists of a few medical students from all four years, a resident and a doctor. They give me the inside scoop and alleviate my fears.

Check out these websites if you're interested:
http://www.acloserwalk.org
http://www.worldaidsday.org/default.asp

And yes... the books I read are indeed on my Amazon wishlist.